Self realisation.

I finally realised something today...
That i have not been as good as a girlfriend should be. Though he says he loves me like his princess... my past and present will never be enough to secure his insecure heart.

As i try so hard to fight back my tears, the fragile part of Ann takes over...

He's 28, I'm like 8 yrs younger... my mum says that he's gotta give me time to grow up and learn more. I'm like thinking, wat's that suppose to mean? I'm just trying to find the right guy with the right attitude, with the right heart to carve my name on... is that so wrong? I want someone who would go to church with me, pray that everyday is a sun-shinny day, that everything would be ok... but that's not happening...

Religion and faith is everything to me, but yet now i have doubts about the one who says he loves me... i'm not asking him to convert or anything, but why can't he jus try? will going for mass with me kill him? what's the talk about putting in effort? I wanna get married in church one day, and i pray... i'll have a mass, not jus a service...

To walk down the aisle is every girl's dream, but yet i fear it now...

I've got my bestie as my confidant and my pal, almost everything else doesn't matter. Why do i still feel so down? Yes, a smile hides everything, but i jus can't go on like this... it hurts, real deep.

I found out today, things i didn't wanna know... why was i so dumb... why did i go see...


*sometimes love jus ain't enough*