A World I Call Mine...

My canvas of life...

2007-02-21T10:32:00.000+08:00

Life is just a canvas, and on it, we choose what is to be painted.
I've enjoyed painting every single detail on this canvas of mine, every colour, every stroke...
But now, I've messed up my art and it's time to start all over.
The strokes and colours will be different, nothing will ever be the same again. A promise i'm making to myself - to never paint the same picture again.

*memories - will forever last*

2007-02-16T12:23:00.001+08:00

I took the first step, but you crippled me.

Life - A joke.

2007-02-16T12:12:00.000+08:00

Sometimes people just want to live in simplity. However, simplicity is not often acheived because of the vices that cling to this world. Some live to enjoy life, whilst some live to be a pain to others.

I thought i'd live my life as happy as a girl could be, until i found out that what i'd been believing in all this while was simply a lie. You can't have the best of both worlds, what you've done to me, i'll forgive, but i'll never forget. How could you even bring yourself to do it? I didn't ask for much, just for your support, but why... why did it have to be you?

It hurts much more than anything that has ever happened in my 21 years of life and now i finally see the true side of you. Was it always a competition to you? Did anyone think about how i would have felt? It cuts deeper than a knife... and the scar remains forever.

I've never once hated a person... but now, i despise you.

*you've gotta learn to take responsibility for your actions, trust is earned*

Ain't no life no more...

2007-01-29T22:24:00.000+08:00

Time is passing, and so are the days that go by one after another...
Life mainly revolves around work now and i'm not enjoying it.
I miss life as it was, happy and carefree... ok, maybe not exactly happy all the time, but at least i had time to myself.
Work's taking it's toil on me and i'm toally pissed at pple in the office. The young and inexperienced. pff.

I need to find time, to have a life again, to just spend days in the sun, nights out with the girls... yup, i wanna do that soon.

I'm still on probation though... maybe it's just about time i left.

*The clock goes tick tick tick...*

Thank you...

2007-01-14T14:56:00.000+08:00

Thank you sweetie, for letting me know that at least someone still cares.
I was there for you like how you were for me so no need for the formalities aight?

So, now life's started with my new job. Ain't exactly pleased with it but oh well, it has to start somewhere i guess... Partying's stopped, drinks aside. Been working my ass off from 9 in the mornings... gosh, i wanna run away, find someone who'd shower me with love and gold... haha... dreaming dreaming...

I'm holding on... truely...

A new start...

2006-12-29T19:39:00.000+08:00

Today marked the last day of work in RedBull. I know i will miss them all... everyone who's groomed me to who and what i am today. Thank you.

I'm now preparing myself, to embarked on a bigger vision in life. A new job that would open new doors for me.

I know that i need a break, but i've got no time left. Work starts on the 3rd and i'm looking forward to it. Colleages seem like nice people so i'm hoping i'll enjoy myself during my stay there.

Life is moving on, and so must i.

I'm gonna take the first step. Please hold my hand.

*I'd like to walk the talk*

Yours truly...

2006-12-25T18:23:00.000+08:00

I've known you from day one and you got me at "hello"
The friend i found in you was nothing more that i would ask for
I've fallen and you were there to pick me up
Cried, and you lent me your shoulder to sob on
I cherish so much of what has happened between us
But i guess it's just come to a stage where i'm just scared to confess
Because we've drifted so far apart
We read about each others lives and stopped telling each other
I don't want it to be this way, i've missed you dearly
As the days go by, i constantly ponder upon what and how we used to be
I missed the times we were so close, and you were my confidant
Our lives are gonna change after this year passes
But i hold the hope of still being your steward, yours truly
You know i'll always be here, i'll always be who i am
I've changed because of the confusion i'm going through
I wanna be able to sit by the riverside once again, with you only...
To laugh, to cry, to share everything we're going through
I do hope that one day, it'll happen again.
I've never lost hope, it's just a feeling of being lost
And that i can't even tell my closest friend because of so much that has changed between us.
I miss you, i truly do.
I'd wish upon a star tonight
That we'd be how we used to be again...

*yours truly*

merrry christmas to you too...

If...

2006-12-23T18:56:00.000+08:00

If i could turn back time, i promise you i'll not be who i am today.
I know i've disappointed you. I'm sorry...

-ain't no title for this-

2006-12-22T15:07:00.000+08:00

I feel so dumb, constantly trapped in my own world and caught in situations i don't wanna be in. This has cause much pain and upset between the world and me and so very often, i know it's my fault.

Why can't reality be a lil' more lenient... a lil' more understanding...

Am at the phase of life where i don't know what i want anymore. It's like i've come to another cross-road, and i'm stuck in the middle of no direction what-so-ever.

I miss the girls, but i know that somehow, things have changed... i don't know why, but it's as such. I miss my princess, but i guess whatever we had has somehow been kept to sweet history... my heart aches at this but there's nothing i can do.

It's perculiar how life treats you sometimes. The butterfly effect: What if a certain event didn't happen in your life? Would things still be the same? Something to think about. pff.

Just spoke to korkor a few days ago, seems like he's the only person that will ever know my and understand how i feel. I'm thankful that at least i've got him.

Life's pretty messy now.
I need time-out.
I need space.
I need to rationalise.
I need to be alone.
I need to be who i wanna be.

Fullstop.

Endless fun...

2006-12-02T15:07:00.000+08:00

Last night saw Steph and myself at Zouk...hmmm, what's new rite? But the thing is that not only were we in the company of our crazy frenz, but we partied hard and had loads of fun!

Shir, 18 yr old neighbour, jas, aaron, ben, alex, johnny... Thanx for the night and supper!

Today's gonna be another day on the water, riding with Cheryl and the rest, and it's bbq tonight! Hope the chicken fillet's good for everyone!

I'm so happy today, i don't know why... Maybe it's cuz i'm free again... heh.

*lalalalalala*

A light has shone...

2006-11-17T10:49:00.000+08:00

I see the light in my life now, and no, it's not that i haven't seen it before. I probably chose to ignore it cuz reality so often hurts.

I've fallen, but i've picked myself up. I've shed the tears i needed to, and now life is moving on. Heartaches, headaches, all a part of the growing process. I'm learning from the broken pieces of my life and it's a chapter written and filed.

You know how strange it is when you suddenly realise how fast time flies and how everyone and eveything changes... It's scary... i don't wanna grow up!

Been seeing myself on the water for quite a bit and i'm beginning to see the importance of my riding sessions. It's a focus on every trick, every jump. It's a commitment to ensure that you throw the trick right, otherwise, the fall is often painful and it leaves you aching like forever. Well, isn't life like this too... It's true, very true.

Was down and out, under the weather since yesterday. Went to the doc and got a jab, yikes, i hate needles!

Life has it's own way of unfolding it's package for you. Just wait, it'll come.

Rain rain go away...

2006-11-11T16:08:00.000+08:00

The day started of at work. Boring. But i got to see my princess so it was worth the hours. Finished at about 3pm with the rain still splashing. Ruins lotsa plans, but yet makes new plans... heh.

I wish the rain would just stop. Stop, so maybe the sun would shine again and everything wouldn't be so gloomy...

Hmmm... chill, i guess. heh.

Regrets...

2006-11-10T17:10:00.000+08:00

I wish that night didn't happen.

I wish i didn't say hi.

I wish i didn't start crying.

I wish i had just said goodbye.

Now because of "him", i almost lost my closet friend.
I'm sorry princess, i know you truely cared.
My life is moving on. And i promise you that.

Clouds... in excess.

2006-11-04T17:46:00.000+08:00

My world is becoming colourless and i don't know why... perhaps i do, but i'm just too afraid to face it now. How will life be if i were colour-blind? Have you ever wondered? Well, go ask your doggie (if u have one)... he'll know.

My heart aches, but i don't know why.
My eyes well up so very often, but i don't know why.
My days are moody, but i don't know why.
I don't know how to love no more, and i don't know why.

I find no explaination for the happenings in my life nowadays... at least not for now. I just feel lost. alone. dumped.

Life is a canvas and we choose what we wanna paint on it. So now i'm finally learning. Simplicity can sometimes make a person real happy. Ask doggie, he'll know....

Gloom and more gloom...

2006-10-21T15:40:00.000+08:00

The 20th of October marked a very bad day. And when i say very, i mean VERY.
Imagine, work, haze and a bad temper... didn't really help the situation.

Cried buckets for the night and thank God for my bestie and my sweeties. Drank loads and i realise that shots and beer make a good combination if you ever think of getting wasted. heh.

Woke pretty early this morning... dunno why also, when there's time for me to sleep, i don't. Gosh, my internal clock is turning upside down. Remind me again what rest is. pff.

Am beginning to dread going to work nowadays... work conditions are bad, car is bad, people bad... no good no good... Thankfully von and i are going to Bintan for our next big event. Hope it'll be enjoyable! Looking forward to it already...

Update update... my comp's still dead. Like dead.

*Why are there so many... songs about rainbows...*

sMaCk...

2006-09-15T20:15:00.000+08:00

Yes, smack.... right on the floor. I'm like how dead and how tired la...

Worked with new gal Kat today, she's pleasant looking, a little soft-spoken...which leaves me to do all the talking. Pff.

Gonna meet mah bestie at our usual place tonight for our chill out session... gosh, think i'm gonna be gone tonight!

Currently in the office awaiting my chauffer to pick me up so i can go fill my tummy... heh. He better get here soon!

I need a new job. A new lease of life perhaps.

*Faints*... soon.

Complicated.

2006-09-08T19:20:00.000+08:00

Life's getting complicated. I am complicated. Nobody understands.

Sometimes it just gets so tiring trying to please everyone. Why do i have to explain every situation that i am in? I'm answerable to myself for the things that happen in my life and i think i'm old enough to know what i'm doing.

Sometimes life gets hazy, and that's where i'm ever so thankful for my bestie who understand even when i don't say anything. Mah sweets, whom i know will always be there. Thank you.

I need space, a lil' time by myself. I don't need to be constricted and i definitely need no pap talk right now.

Work's getting to me. I'm tired. I'm drained. I'm unhappy and i don't know why.

Sigh. sigh. sigh.

Heartbreaks are inevitable in life, yet some choose to make the worse of it. I know it's easier said than done, but common, life goes on and many have proven it. Like what many would say, love cannot be forced.

Ya know the kind of feeling when you start to lose interest in someone whom you use to love so much. Well, face it. it happens. *smacks meself on me face* wake up.

Gosh, i feel terrible.

Ouch!

2006-09-06T13:07:00.000+08:00

Oh, did i forget to mention that i sprained my poor toe. Gosh it's bruised and it hurts! arrggh. Guess how it happened? I kicked a curb in my excitment to see my princess. Horrid. Ouch!

What my life is made of... now.

2006-09-06T13:00:00.000+08:00

The morning saw me dropping mum off so i could use the car today. An uneventful turn of events left me beggin her to use the car so i could run around to places without burning a hole in my pocket.

I'm tired, from getting up early, from going to bed late... early morning that's what i see it as.

I'm done with my individual paper and i'm heading down to jamal's soon. Gonna carry on with a day of project work before our final presentation today.

Oh, did i mention i gave my hair a new lease of life with a new colour? heh. Just had to get it done. Life's just too dead these days.

The group's thinking of getting wasted tonight, drinks on the house? Post celebration for our proj well done. Thing is ya see, i've got work tmr. Boring. And it's with that someone that doesn't excite me much. pff.

Zooming off now. Zombie state.

ciao ciao.

Life's ever-changing...

2006-08-31T13:45:00.000+08:00

I'm so tired of what's happening now. Work, school, the break-up. pff. gee, leave me alone.

If you ever go read up on my horoscope, you'd probably realise that what is described about me is true to a certain degree. I'll never be satisfied with what or who i have and i'll always be thinking that there'll be someone better for me and just keep searching. Seb's nice, too nice. Too much for me to comprehend rite now. I need space, time alone.

On the otherhand, Jase has appeared and put me in doubts again. I swear i will not let the past catch up on me, ever. He's nice, young, but not too young, playful but family oriented. Gosh, what is happening?? And i realise how small this world really is... his sista actually knows sufiya! Faints faints faints. I wish i was in heaven now. Maybe hell wouldn't be bad either. I just need to go some place else.

Princess suggested that we should go on our princess-steward trip again and i'm really so totally excited about it! I just miss her. She's been caught up with work, school, life... pretty much the same shit as me i guess. Just hope she gets some rest... gosh, my superwoman merlai.

Last night was to zouk. Went drinking at The Cube before heading to zouk. Sometimes, it's not so bad being in a club alone. You hear what you hear and see what you see, alone. pretty cool i must say. Now, surprise surprise, seb and jase were both at zouk! i really don't need this senerio now... thankfully seb was with his friends and didn't give a damn about me being there. For a point in my life, i felt like i didn't owe anybody anything. I could just be myself, because once again, it was a beautiful story with a not so happy ending. Tears flowed again, but i didn't know why, it jus did... so unstoppingly... Please let time stand still, i need to run away...

~something in the way you look at me~

Just another saturday...

2006-08-13T01:46:00.000+08:00

The morning found my at old turf city again, touch with the girls was fun, cept for the occasional screams i got from being "blur" on the field... hmmm... Not sure if we won the game but apparently we tied. yup.

Was back home in the afternoon to find mummy in bed with a bad headache, made her take pills and then sent her to slp again. Hope mummy's alright now.

Evening was spent at Marina square, dinner... or was it lunch... hmm, maybe it was lunchner... heh. Then it was to marina south to witness the ever amazing sparks of the finale of the fireworks festival. Nice.

Am back at bro's hse now. Tired and almost very drained out... pff.

Nite.

Ridiculous!

2006-08-10T10:10:00.000+08:00

Early Thursday morning and i'm suppose to be at work at 10am... oh gee, look at what's the time? It's 10:05 and i'm still home. All cuz of an irresponsible partner.

Today's event covers WCG (a big event) and she calls me up in the morning saying her eye is infected! Couldn't she at least call Ms. G earlier yesterday so that today wouldn't happen? Now i have to go to the freaking office myself and prepare 12 freaking cartons, chilled, and i have to carry everything up to the convention center myself! RIDICULOUS i say...

Arrgghh, never been so pissed off in the morning.

pff.

Precious moments...

2006-08-10T01:47:00.000+08:00

Charlie boy boy is finally 2 yrs old, he got his cake, the attention wanted, and many many nice prezzies from everyone present.

Jason brought Max over jus to be shocked by charlie's agressiveness, one bark and it's "don't fwen you already"... But thanx for coming anyway. Princess and silver couldn't make it though, but their kind thoughts are much appreciated.

Gee, my comp's alive and i think it's bad. Seeing things that i thought i lost when compy died. Brings back memories again... Why can't i jus seem to let go? Is it that difficult? I've been a fool and i still don't see the light.

Sigh.

And this song just played...

"Even though it's been so long
My love for you keeps going strong
I remember the things that we used to do
A kiss in the rain 'til the sun shine through
I try to deny it but I'm still in love with you.

I miss you like crazy,
I miss you like crazy
Ever since you went away,
every hour of every day
I miss you like crazy,
I miss you like crazy
No matter what I say or do
There's just no getting over you."

Dedicated to you know who...

Something to look forward to ...

2006-08-09T13:07:00.000+08:00

Today, yes today is the day... well, not only is it our nation's birthday, but it is my dear charlie boy boy's birthday! He's 2 today and i'm so so proud of him. Oh, he's my doggie by the way.

Birthday party's at 5pm today. Gotta go prepare and get his prezzy now!

Oh, anyway, last nite at zouk was fun as usual. =)

Ciao ciao!

The Revival

2006-08-07T23:59:00.000+08:00

Howdy mate!

Yes yes, my world is alive again... and so is my dearie computer.

It's been some time and much has happened, i'll leave that to memories that only i can remember.

Today's shift got cancelled but i still went for the golf briefing. Not that i've had the sudden urge to take up golf... but the next few golf events is under my charge. Boring.

Met up with Mr. Jase to watch LakeHouse. Nice. Then it was food, food, and more glorious food. The view of passing cars was delightful too. Gee, i realise that sometimes things jus pass us by so quickly that we don't even take time to appreciate the small things in life. For this realisation, "I love you all my frens... my sweets... and of course, my bestest bestie".

I've really never had so much ice cream in a day but thank you Jase, your company was much appreciated. =) Thanx for the long walk too... burned off quite abit i guess...

Home early. Mummy's not coming home tonight. hmmm. i miss her.

Oh, i miss my princess too... sob sob...

Later aights!

Self realisation.

2005-09-14T02:53:00.000+08:00

I finally realised something today...
That i have not been as good as a girlfriend should be. Though he says he loves me like his princess... my past and present will never be enough to secure his insecure heart.

As i try so hard to fight back my tears, the fragile part of Ann takes over...

He's 28, I'm like 8 yrs younger... my mum says that he's gotta give me time to grow up and learn more. I'm like thinking, wat's that suppose to mean? I'm just trying to find the right guy with the right attitude, with the right heart to carve my name on... is that so wrong? I want someone who would go to church with me, pray that everyday is a sun-shinny day, that everything would be ok... but that's not happening...

Religion and faith is everything to me, but yet now i have doubts about the one who says he loves me... i'm not asking him to convert or anything, but why can't he jus try? will going for mass with me kill him? what's the talk about putting in effort? I wanna get married in church one day, and i pray... i'll have a mass, not jus a service...

To walk down the aisle is every girl's dream, but yet i fear it now...

I've got my bestie as my confidant and my pal, almost everything else doesn't matter. Why do i still feel so down? Yes, a smile hides everything, but i jus can't go on like this... it hurts, real deep.

I found out today, things i didn't wanna know... why was i so dumb... why did i go see...

*sometimes love jus ain't enough*

It's been a while...

2005-07-17T11:40:00.000+08:00

Gee, it's really been a long time since i've updated this bloggy of mine...
Computer at home's giving me trouble... headache man.

Anyway, i've been feeling rather odd recently...
Just mixed up and confused... I miss him... darn, tell me this is not happening...

Been down to the beach quite a few times, the only place where i can relax, not think about anything and not spend money! hee... love mah tan, as usual.

Yesterday saw me working with vonnie at VAS beach volley... fun as usual, i love our new sweater Yvonne! =)

After work was home, then for dinner with boon before popping over to von's place to take a look at lil' Silver... she's so cute! hmm, i want my own doggie too... when? when?

After that was down to the Esplanade, don't ask me for what, but we just went. Well, to our surprise, there were DJs spinning and crowds dancing to an era of songs that even i was not familiar with... groovy kinda beat, but it was enjoyable and entertaining. I've never seen so many pple jumping up and down at the same time in the same place! Interesting...
One of the songs that caught me was this one that went like "Pleas site down, please sit down, sit down next to me"... nice, it was just nice.

Today's gonna be filled with loads of singing again... gtg now...

Be back again.

*When will the clouds go away...*

The countdown ends today...

2005-06-30T08:24:00.000+08:00

Hip Hip Hooray!

Excellent piece of news... today's my last day at work! yeah!
That's just why i got to drive to work, so i could pack up my barang and bring it home!
Excellent hair day... excellent mood... everything's good. =)

Here i am, happily doing nothing... hee.. brought a few magazines to kill time, oh man... never felt this way before! hee... a bit spastic, but who cares? haha.

lalalalala...

Am feeling much better today despite my nose that's still running and my cough that won't go away... hmm...

Looking forward to a new and better job to come my way! *praying hard*

*A whole new world*

Sick...again...

2005-06-29T09:05:00.000+08:00

Sigh, what wrong with me man... i keep having this fever that wouldn't go away, and it's making me real ill...

Went for my interview yesterday, as much as i wanted to feel excited about it, i couldn't, why? cuz my head was spinning and i felt i could have jus fainted on the spot. The interviewer was a lady... which pretty much explains why she was so "high up there"... gave me the airs and was so intimidating, asked so many questions... a 45 min interview, think i'm gonna lose it. Oh well, nvm...

Am in the office this morning, jus had breakfast, medication... and now i feel like sleeping... I don't even know what i'm gonna be doing for the rest of the day. Like crap rite... shit...

I hope my pay comes in soon... i've never really felt so poor in my life before man... i need ta get alot of esccential stuff... like really need to loh...

Boon's on halfday today, but i don't really feel like going anywhere... maybe we could jus go home and watch vcd.. hmm..

*Steward service... down and out*

A day at @ the beach with Vonnie and lil'Bell...

2005-06-28T09:20:00.000+08:00

That's lil'Bell... the oh so cute lil' sweetie pie...

And here's the princess and the steward... besties for life! It's always so nice to be spending time with her... love her company... oh, i mean, i just love her!

Boring...

2005-06-27T08:22:00.000+08:00

Yawns... hmm, Monday's here to disturb me again... gee, get off my back! Though that fella is out of town, i hv this feeling that i'll be super busy packing up and handing over stuff.

Body's aching. Must have been too much volley yesterday... ouch!

Shall update again later... this is just what i'm feeling now...

*in boredom*

nice nice?

2005-06-24T09:53:00.000+08:00

Think i'm getting into watches now... this, my next target... =)

Times i won't forget...

2005-06-24T09:47:00.000+08:00

Sweet sweet redbull babes...

OMG! It's Friday! hee...

2005-06-24T09:22:00.000+08:00

Thank goodness... Friday marks the end of the working week... phew... always look forward to this day *smilez*

So, Friday means....
Party time! Yes, the redbull gals and my darling vonnie's gonna be down at Black tonight! Oh i hope it'll be happening... jus as it always is... Kinda feeling less stress now but stress cuz i have nothing to do... hmmm, 8 to 6 ain't the most happening work hours k!

Gee, everything is going by so fast... will i even have time to realise the youth that i have now? Time and tide waits no man... I can't wait to get back to school!

Anyway, mah interview's been postponed... hmmm, i hope they still want me. =x

I'm still banging on the fact that princess and i will be taking a short trip before sch starts... eh, start saving k... we needa go shop shop shop!

And of course, i hope my pay rolls in soon... hmmm... money money money... the root to all evil, and it's what makes the world go round...

*Show me the money!*

Good news.. for me at least...

2005-06-23T09:02:00.000+08:00

Hey hey hey!
Here's a piece of good news!
I'm going for my interview with Suntec Integrated Media tmr!
Yes, like finally i'm getting called up for something i'm really interested in...
Was really surprised they called... i guess cuz it was because i accidentally sent my resume to the Director! Gosh, is that bad? hee.
Well anyway, hope it goes well.

Went to watch "Alot like love" yesterday... it was a sweet story. I love happy endings. It's a nice show, catch it if you have time. Went back home cuz i was so pretty shagged out with the day's work... I'm praying this ends soon...

I'm so looking forward to going back to school... no doubt there'll be mountains of notes and books again, but i'd rather be buried in that than rot in what i'm doing now.

Was rather disturbed by some issues yesterday... thankfully i had my princessy to share it with. I'll strangle her if i could dear... but i can't. I'm only human.

Hope todays a better day. Was in at 8am... like what the... *hmm*

*I want to carry on smiling...*

Halfway thru the week...

2005-06-22T10:12:00.000+08:00

Yesterday evening saw me at chomp chomp with darling sebby... nice nice satay beehoon... Then it was down to TCC @ our usual place to slack and jus do nothing... Was very sleepy but i enjoyed the night. Fell asleep at home while talking to him... gosh, feel so bad...

Today saw my boss waking up on the wrong side of bed (like wat's new), but no, this time it wasn't taken out on me... it was my poor designer... she always kenna from him, but i admire her patience.

It's not even past half the morning yet. He's out, and i hope it stays that way. Been sending out many resumes this few days... hope i find a good job soon.

I wonder what's on for this evenin.. hmm, as u can see, i'm eager to get off work already... =) I really am left with pretty much nothing to do, except for the stupid proj acct i'm incharge of. Oh ya, did i mention that i don't like the guy i'm dealing with? yeah.

I'm looking forward to lunch, and after lunch i'll be looking at the door... haha...

K, i'm getting a bit lame here. Let's hope princessy comes online soon so i can talk to her, bet she's busy on her side too... i miss you dear.

*I finally found a love of a lifetime*

Rain rain, go away...

2005-06-21T08:38:00.000+08:00

Familiar tune ain't it?
Yeah, as what it describes... it's raining outside now. The perfect weather to be in bed, and like what the hell am i doing in this stupid office...?

Ya know, the rain reminds me of many many things... good memories, fun, sad ones... sigh, those were the days. I remember training hard in the rain, for the IVP last year, the endless strolls that i took with that someone, the storms that my friends and i braved... i miss those times...

Today is a sleepy day. Like duh, which day isn't? hmmm.
I want to go shopping... the only thing is that i'm like broke, again.

Went to watch PCK the musical yesterday... we supposedly got the "premium" seats... but ended up feeling so uncomfy cuz all the chairs were leveled... can u imagine the strain on poor lil annie's neck... arrgghh...

I'm feeling bored today. Will be sending out quite a few resumes to hunt down my next job. I hope it won't be too long before someone calls me up for an interview. I love interviews! so much fun in dressing up and trying to impress... but then again... what's there to impress? i'm only ann eh... *faints*

I hope this week passes fast, so maybe i can meet up with my princess soon... jus love her company... i miss all my friends so much!

Well, life's like that. I guess. Unpredictable, undeniable.

Finally Monday's good...and i wonder why...

2005-06-20T10:48:00.000+08:00

Gee, the weekend was definitely a good one!
Friday saw me at Zouk with the princess! Yess.... high high game we played and loads we drank. hee.

Was at the beach on Sat with her too... lovely time. Who in the world plays otello and upwards in the hot sun? well, that was us... hee.. we went kayaking too... real great time spent together, wish it could happen more often... went to play pool after that. That bugis place is really nice, good tables and ambience and all... a pleasure to continue playing game after game.

Drove to church on yesterday. Saw Adrian... nice of him to come up to say hi, finally. Went down to the beach again after that. Met Daryl there... had a short stroll, good tan, played touch, and tanned more... hee... i really do love the beach!

The morning's been busy in the office... settling mandatory stuff and i'm like free for the day again... great, what am i gonna do now...

Am gonna watch PCK musical tonight... mummy thank you for the tickets!

Hmmm, think i'll give the princess a call later...see what she's up to... feeling bored already...!

*Don't let up*

down and out...

2005-06-17T16:42:00.000+08:00

hmmm, yesterday saw me at the doctor's again...
sick... very sick...

had 2 days of mc but what the hell la... i'm back in the office today. I can't imagine what i heard from my boss... that stupid Dora of the parent company actually called me a "naughty girl"! like who the hell is she la! irritant bitch.

oh well, it's friday anyway... love fridays...don't ya?

Will be down at the beach with princess tomorrow... how nice... jus like old times...

I'm gonna watch Batman tonight! hee... heard it's much better than the previous ones... let's hope so ya!

Gotta fly now!

*smiley smilez*

The countdown begins...

2005-06-15T11:45:00.000+08:00

It's Wednesday! I'm having a headache, but all is well.
I'm feeling happy again...

The countdown begins tmr till the end of the month, then i don't have to put up with all this nonsense ever again... (i hope)

I'm excited about my night out with the princess tmr! yes, i've been a good girl this week... going home after work... Feel kinda bad cuz i always end up sleeping after dinner, even though he's around... hmmm... sorry...

Da boss is out. yeah, tt's perhaps why i'm blogging.
I'm left with pretty much nothing to do already. How nice right? yes yes.

Had a long chat with the princess these two days... talking bout uni and stuff. I finally printed the application form and i'm happily filling it up! hee... 12 pages eh... diaoz...

It's great to know that we'll be back in school in no time! Semester starts in Sep... how exciting right?!

Princess, can we go for our holiday soon?

Alright, lunchtime's approaching... i'm feeling hungry. Yupz, tt's a good sign. Hee...

*My dream continues when i start to reach for it again...*

Inequality...

2005-06-14T11:21:00.000+08:00

Yes, i'm happy that i have resigned. But guess what? the work load's piling up...
He's totally incorrigible... he'll tell you that you're no good in a "nice"way...
What's with him and his self obsession? Don't even know whether this stupid magazine is gonna succeed... one copy is like 16bucks! and he expects a market like Singapore to pay? dream on...

I've like got this project on hand that's gonna drag till July. Hopefully it finishes before that. I'm so bogged down by work. I'm falling sick again.

Made a date with the princess to meet up for a drink tmr, i'm looking forward to it...
Sigh... the working world is indeed very ugly.

Oh yes, i'm running out of cash again...like what's new right... hmmm... It's an expensive world to live in, or is it just me?

Vonnie's been having a lil tough time at work too... but i guess her boss is much nicer than mine. meany! I wish we were back in school together... i miss those times... i wanna study again, and we will ok princess!

Ya know, da boss was like in the whole of yesterday... you can't imagine the level of stress we were under. I didn't even rest the entire day! I'm beginning to doubt whatever i'm doing here. An enticing deal gone bad. *pout*

I hope the week passes soon... well, it's already Tuesday ain't it? and tmr will be wed...hee...
I hate to say this, but this company really sucks!

I can't imagine that all my previous entries have been about work work work... boring... time to add some colour back in my life!

Freedom! here i come!

*Freedom to the people!*

Monday's good afterall!

2005-06-13T14:01:00.000+08:00

Ask me why?
Ask me why?

hee...

I resigned...

lalalalala...

*Life's all about taking risks*

Confusion...

2005-06-09T16:11:00.000+08:00

Whoever invented the word confusion...all thanks to that felle, i'm in that state right now. =(
I think i just got threatened in the midst of all my pap talks with my toopid boss... thinks he's the greatest man in the world, crap. Is this how the corporate world works? cold and ugly... yucks.

I think i shall just make up some crappy excuse that i'm gonna study or something la... rather than he gives me some long lecture again... shit face.

Oh, if you guys don't know what i'm talking about... it's about quitting my job. yup, and that's final. *hmph*

Feels like i'm really not interested in this job anymore... like as if i ever was... *rolly eyes*
Don't know why my confidence always drops to zero whenever i talk to him... is he really that scary? No, he's jus a temperamental guy.

I really can't wait for the weekend to come. Feeling so cooped up here... so stiffling and head's aching... i hate this feeling.

Why do i have to feel this way everyday? I really hate it. Hate it.

*I'm not a perfect person*

Late entry!

2005-06-08T16:49:00.000+08:00

Ok, the day really sucked today. I don't know how else to describe it. Poor lil' annie saw tears in her eyes again... and let's all guess why...?

Anyway, i realise that my entry for the weekends r always not update! hee.
I saw someone on Sunday... Adrian, to be more precise... managed to smile at him without throwing myself off key, haha... it was great seeing him again. But it was jus too bad that he's forever rushing off from church! well, from my mass timing at least... =( nontheless, i will get a chance to speak to him. yeap, i will.

Was at Sentosa on sat evening as well as on Sunday afternoon...madness i must say. But i just love the sun, the sea, and the sand... it just calms the nerves... ya know what i mean? Though i'm always there alone, i know that i'm enjoying myself cuz i'm part of the beautiful picture...

Was suppose to go for Daniel's b-day bbq and guess what? i totally forgot about it! oh man! sowee! Happy 21st Birthday dude!

Well, yes, i'm sitting in my office now... head's throbbing a lil... feeling sleepy and all...
I just want to go home... =(

*It was a really bad day*

I don't know what else to say...

2005-06-08T11:15:00.000+08:00

I HATE MY JOB.

Today's a lil better...

2005-06-07T13:47:00.000+08:00

Got to work super early this morning cuz it was my turn to puch card so cannot be late...

Did quite a lot of stuff in the morning and now i'm feeling very sleepy. It's almost 2pm now... 4 more hours to go... i hope i can last through...

My dear dear so suay sia... hotmail pw kenna reset, so was his friendster acct. That person is real mean man...

Was looking at this Swatch watch the other day, it's really nice loh...but the price is even nicer... hmmm.

Will be going for a movie later, it's complimentary from my boss... why? because he called me in for so many pap talks yesterday! wah...every monday lidat cannot la... anyway, boon and i r gonna watch Mr and Mrs Smith. Hope it'll be nice.

I'm still quite stuck with my work now... trying to do up my revenue thinggy. I hate numbers! even if it means money!

*Money makes the world go round... or does it?*

Why is Monday always blue...?

2005-06-06T14:52:00.000+08:00

Sia la... kenna pap talk by my boss again... not as if i wanted it.
Was so sleepy this morning. Although i was at work on time, i still fell asleep cuz i had nothing to do... or rather, i didn't feel like doing anything.

Boon's back from bintan and today is somebody's birthday... will be going for dinner later, surprise surprise!

Sigh, i need to go for my manicure... my nails are chipping like nobody's business... and it's irritating.

The night at China Black was fun, as usual...manage to get xxxx drunk... hee...

ok, it's back to work now... boring...

Meeting a client soon and i'm like in jeans! hahaha...who cares right?

*sometimes ignorance is bliss*

I must thank God it's FRIDAY!

2005-06-03T10:48:00.000+08:00

Finally... It's the end of a stressful week... *beams*
But then again, let's not speak too soon cuz half the day has not even passed yet...*sigh*

I'm beginning to wonder if my boss knows how to be a boss. Got it from him again this morning when i turned up late for work. Like what's his problem la? I live in Yishun...hello...? Well, to think that i bothered to take a cab to work, and get caught in a jam... my fault ah? And so the story goes on...yada yada... I am so losing respect for him now! Imagine... which boss would actually say this to you: "Don't let me catch you making this a habit..." sounds like my secondary school discipline master. I'm looking for a boss who's not like that! Any recommendations? *frowns*

Then it came about knowing what my responsibilties are:

I shouldn't use the phone AT ALL cuz he thinks i'm doing it for personal use
He calls, the line is engaged and it's my fault? Bloody hell...
Do what a professional PA is suppose to do... when i hv no relevant experience!
Can't get a higher pay cuz it's "Good learning opportunity"
Can't leave now cuz i'm bombarded with stupid things to do
Say ï don't know"and it's my fault too?
Expect myself to read his genius mind. He think i psychic or wat?
File all documents, like as if i took my diploma to do that.
Be brainwashed about contributing to the business cuz it'll benefit me. Like in what way sia?
Work late...when i have no work to do.
Chase him about deadlines and whenever i do, he just loses his temper!
Be nice and clear his mess!

Wah... i didn't even realise i was typing this... i was so wrong about this job. Somebody help me? please?

Fine fine... put all that aside... it's the weekend, i should be happy.

Will be joining Vert for dinner tonight at ChinaJump, wat's up with that man! But anyhow, am meeting the princess for a night of sheer party over at our usual ChinaBlack! Yeah! Like finally... Boon's not gonna be around for the weekend, so i guess i'll jus have ta keep myself occupied... shall i go for the beach party?

I really wish for July to come soon so i can leave this job and this freaking company... it's driving my nuts! Came in without anything set up...like what sia...

Okok, enough about work... I'm putting it aside and i hope he doesn't bug me.

Was at dinner with Hwee Peng last night. Spanish restaurant at Keong Siak St. Was nice, drank wine... but surprise surprise... i was sober after 3/4 bottle of alcohol in me! Got home at bout 12pm and Boon came over... Put me to sleep and went back...hmmm... how lovely.

Alrighty, gtg... as usual... hope the next time pens a better entry!

*Move bitch! Get out of the way!*

But it's ok... fine, i forgive him.

A better day ahead...

2005-06-02T09:24:00.000+08:00

Good morning!

Gee... was late for work again this morning... Delta Hse is really too far from my place la, the thought of waking up so early in the morning jus turns me off...

Am feeling a lil better today.
Think i was a bit mad cuz i bought 3 pairs of footwear yesterday within 2 hrs of shopping with the princess! I can't believe myself man...madness... Vonnie bought 2 pairs of nice nice shoes too... i like the shimmer girl! *winks*

I hope today will be a bit more relaxed for me so i can start on my writing... Gonna be meeting Hwee Peng this evening for my belated b-day dinner! ha... hope it's a good one.

Miss my dear...hmmm...feelings, absurb sometimes.

*This little light of mine... i'm gonna let it shine*

one more for the day...

2005-06-01T12:16:00.000+08:00

My boss is out.
I hope he doesn't return.
I dread to see his face cuz it turns me off.

My hearts crying.
It hurts.
But i don't know why.

I need to let it go.
Now.
But i can't.

Life is moving on.
I must too.

*Ignorance sometimes is bliss*

Dont know why...

2005-06-01T10:54:00.000+08:00

It's been almost a month since i started working full-time now... work totally sucks and i'm gonna quit soon. I've never seen myself as a quitter, but i guess there's always limits to be challenged and always a first time to say ï quit!" Life's in a blur now, not very sure of what i want... it would be good if i could carrying on studying... i'll be aiming for that now...

Today i sent an e-mail to someone who use to be very special in my life, i don't know why i did, but it was a really long note...a story rather... a love story of 3 years that had gone wrong... it jus made me feel so sad.

I'm happy with what i am and what i have today, but somethings will never be the same no matter how hard you try to replicate it, it's jus different.

I'm struggling to get out of this stage that i'm in cuz it's really draining me, falling sick is no joke.

I miss my friends, the time we use to spend in and out of sch... haven been seeing much of them lately, but i hope the friendship still holds... I wanna carry on playing rugby, but where's the time? I get so tired at the end of the day, i jus look forward to a good rest and that my alarm clock would never ring...

I've got a temperamental boss who's driving me nuts, screamed at me the other day till my tears flowed... i know i'm sensitive, but sometimes these people just gotta learn to think before they say things.

I miss so many many things... i miss the time that was spent in Genting with xxxxx and my friends... i miss going to the beach, crapping out with them, and even spending endless moments doing nothing...

Why do these feelings suffice suddenly? Why...

*I'm gonna love you till the end, i'm gonna be, your very true friend... I'm gonna share your ups and downs, i'm gonna be around...*

Finally blogging again....

2005-05-26T09:32:00.000+08:00

It's been ages man!
Yes i mean AGES....

Haha...am happy that the com in the office is up and running. At least i have access to the internet now!

Am so sick...down with flu and fever...head's spinning like mad *dizzy*dizzy*

Miss mah fwens so much...vonnie dear, we'll go on our trip soon k! promise!

Sigh, it's always like that...so much to type but dunno what to say...

Had a really awesome birthday celebration this year, though nothing to brag about, but at least it was peaceful...or at least i thought it was...till i got home... nvm bout that, what's impt is that mah friends remembered, they were there to blow out my 20 candles with me, and they bought me the pair of shoes i liked...how lovely...

I really miss sch very much, work really sucks...regretting already... *somebody save me!*

Boon's on half day today...but i'm still feeling puky eh...he wants to go bike shopping... hopefully i don't faint halfway...hmmm...

*Gone are the days of song and laughter...*

The less busy day...

2005-04-28T23:11:00.000+08:00

Gee, the morning saw me waking up at 145pm! Ain't that great? i'm finally getting sleep...

Anyway, mummy's sick...poor mummy... *kisses*

Was down at Suntec to have lunch with Mr. Boon, it was jus a nice feeling to be doing something like that again...ya know wat i mean?

Had training in school today, oh man! i can still run! Though my knee's injured again...sigh...

Gonna be meeting my boss tmr! damn exciting la...

K, gonna hit the sack now... zzz.....

Been so long...

2005-04-28T03:17:00.000+08:00

Gee, it's really been so so so so long since i last blogged... was it cuz i was not in the office? must be the resaon...

Anyway, lotsa things have happened since the last entry and i really don't know where to start.

I'm tired from the night shift, so i guesss i'll jus talk bout today...

Woke at 1pm...

Went down to Andrew's place and guess wat? His electricity kenna cut! haha... there went my treat for dinner... but anyhow, we had a good one jus down the road from his place.

Worked the night shift with Von, went to quite a few clubs, sampling was fruitful i guess.

Many things have happened at home... things i don't wish to mention or think about.

It just makes me sad. so sad.

*so sad, so sad... it's a sad sad situation*

End. Of. Internship.

2005-04-15T10:21:00.000+08:00

15 April 2005...

Yes! Yes! Yes!
Today's the last day of my internship with Golin Harris International.
It has been a good experience with the PR industry and i really like the pple here... Too bad, there's not that pulling factor that makes me wanna stay on...

Anyway, hip hop yesterday was fun, first time and i realise i could dance. ha.
There was this...uurm... hyper sadako who stood behind vonnie, oh man, she muz have been in some tribe or something in her previous life, should have seen the way she moved... or was it flinging of hair and real big spastic movements! got us all cracked up and a bit irritated.

Today, we're going for KB. Yup, by far the most followable class...haha... men, beware.

Well of course, it's friday...so it's time to chill for the week again! yeah!

*go friday, go friday, go, go ,go friday!*

Sneezy Morning!

2005-04-14T09:50:00.000+08:00

Ah... Chooo!!!

yes, that's been me since the time i woke up! wassup with my nose man...

Went for Pilates with princess yesterday, swear it really does work the core muscles... now i realise that my lower abs are kinda weak, but it's ok, i'll train it up.

Training resumes next week, should i go? hmmm...

Boon sent me to work this morning. Surprisingly, the hair's ok! heee...

I know i've said this many times but i'm gonna say it again... i'm broke, totally.
Gonna hafta buy gifts for my supervisor...there goes another hole in mah pocket.

Yeah! tmr marks the end of my internship with GH! I'm happy... but kinda sad too la... muz be the pple that's holding me back...i will miss them.

Will be going for Hip Hop with vonnie later, hope it perks up my day!

*So many crossroads in life, which do you choose...?*

Jumbled...

2005-04-13T12:21:00.000+08:00

yesterday evening saw me with boon eating teochew porridge... nice.
then the sky threatened to rain so we decided to make our way to catch a show.
oh man, pls pls pls stay away from SAMARA... damn lame loh, an english version of The Ring.
met nazlyn in the cinema, wat a coincidence...

dunno why, but i was feeling really superly sleepy and grouchy after the show. he sent me back real quickly and i hit the sack as soon as i reach home. the thing is that he forgot to pass me back my stuff, hmmm, so he decided to pick me up for work this morning.

did i mention i don't really like sitting on a bike early in the morning? never fails to produce a helmet hairstyle for me! but it was a sweet gesture considering that he only needed to be at work at 12pm. thanx!

will be going for workout with vonnie later... hope this distresses me a lil.
found out some unpleasant stuff again... gee, life, hate it sometimes.

am really left with nothing much to do in the office now, shall be going for lunch soon but i'm thinking of what i can do after that... *ponders*

by the way, i'm still broke.

*where do broken hearts go... can they find their way home...*

Today's better...

2005-04-12T09:43:00.000+08:00

The morning started off on a good note.
I guess it was sleep that did me well.

Was really really grouchy yesterday until i got mah new phone!
yes, i've got a new phone... the one that e princess is carrying.
It's nice. I like it.

But then again, i still need money. hmm.

Went to eat beef hor fun with ah boon @ Geylang... I swear i could just dig out the eyeballs of those perverted old men! But anyhow, dinner was fulfillin and went hopped over to eat tau hui after that... boy was i bloated!

Was at the Fullerton talking a stroll after that... i realise that i was happy. yup.

Will be going for my meeting again tonight, hope it won't take long so i can go out with boon. he's on half day k...

sigh, it's back to work now... i'm enduring... 3 more days to go...

*You're just the best i ever had*

Monday's blue, grey, and black...

2005-04-11T13:41:00.000+08:00

Everything's going wrong.
I'm broke.
My phone's gone crazy.
I realised some things which i wish i had rather not.
I'm feeling unhappy.
Somebody save me...

*Don't promise when you can't deliver*

What a weekend...

2005-04-11T01:47:00.000+08:00

ehem ehem...
ok, let's see where i shall start...
perhaps i'll jus leave the nitty gritty details out...

Friday saw me and princess downing drinks like nobody's business, well i guess it felt good cuz we haven't exactly done it in a long time! But princess... sorry for getting ya tipsy! Ha... there you go, can u picture the sight of me? Mah dear boon was sick and so my darling princess had to see me home. Thx girl! you're the best!

Was at the beach on Sat...
Boy did the sun feel gooooood! Need i say more?
Brought boon for dinner. All's well.
Think mummy likes him? gee. hmm.
Caught Beauty Shop, it was real good. Women should never be trifled with. uh huh.

Church on Sun.
Went down to Dick Lee's house for mah Peranakan meeting...
It was a PALACE... serious man! one could get lost in the house!
It was really so so so so nice...
And the pups so cute...
Oh man... no wonder he's Dick Lee.
Went down to Cine to catch The Pacifier, damn good show if ya want some action and a good laugh.

I'm sleepy, a bit moody, and here i shall stop.

*Don't worry, be happy*

It's Friday again!

2005-04-08T11:37:00.000+08:00

Hip hip hooray! Yes... it's that time of the week again, to go mad and let loose!

The media event wasn't too bad yesterday, quite a few nice people, nice place. Got our pics taken by PHOTOi... damn cool, it was fun! Took lotsa namecards, but i doubt i'll ever call them...gee

Still waiting for Timmy to get back from Switzerland... do i see my job coming...?

Am going for KB with princess today and then it's to Black for our chill out session... am looking forward to it!

Think mum's kinda pissed at me, but then again...aiyah, dunno la. Mums.

............

2005-04-07T16:02:00.000+08:00

ok fine, my tummy is in folds now...
jus told mummy about boon...
so many questions...
i hope dinner won't turn out a disaster...

*what do u do when u have a cringe in your tummy?*

I said Hey! What's goin on...

2005-04-07T12:01:00.002+08:00

My nose is stuck. so superly stuck that i'm talking funny.

Isn't my workload suppose to decrease as my internship comes to an end? How come it's like getting more and more stressful? I'm so looking forward to the day we bid goodbye to the GH pple. They are nice, but the work sucks.

Went to sign up at Amore with Vonnie yesterday after work. Did Aerobics and i swear i'm aching cuz i was laughing all the way. Now i know how my hands and legs can't coordinate and follow the movements! Felt a bit spastic, but it was fun! Look forward to the next lesson of KB on Fri!

Mr.S just popped up to fetch me, apparently for making me angry. Men. sigh.
Ed appeared too... haha, went to Cartel to have coffee in what Ed called my "shorty short shorts"... haha. Joker.

The morning started off busy, suddenly had a lot to do.
And my mind's in a boggle... should i bring him to mummy's birthday dinner on Sat? Will she freak out? hmmm...*thump thump*

Gonna be down at China One this evening for a media event. Hope it's good. I so need a beer now...uurm, ok, ridiculous but i jus feel like drinking.

*oh...mysterious girl, i wanna get close to you...*

droopy eyes

2005-04-06T12:58:00.000+08:00

I miss mah boon...

Sleepy Wednesday...

2005-04-06T10:00:00.000+08:00

~yawns~

It ain't a gloomy day, but i'm sleepy alright.

Went to get my brows shaped after work yesterday, pretty satisfied with Hollywood Secret's skills. Thereafter was to pamper myself with a much needed aromatherapy body massage... It felt good, so i'm taking vonnie next time!

Went down to Suntec to meet ah boon... walked pass ALDO and saw this gorgeous pair of stiletos, it's like damn nice and so is the price... 129 bucks man! But i'm aiming already....hee..

Dinner was nasi lemak, simple but filling. Drove down to Daryl's place to pass Mel her prezzy. I'm glad i made someone happy. Had nowhere else to go so we went down to East Coast for a drink. Guess i was probably real tired cuz i didn't talk much, was mentally very exhausted.

Boon drove me home after and like a total pig i slept throughout the journey.

I'm in a shocking colour today, just need ta perk up my mood i guess... will be meeting von later to sign up for KB lessons @ Amore. It's gonna be a good workout i reckon. Miss going out with her. I guess friends are indeed the most impt of all. Thanks girl! For you know what la huh...

Gonna be making lotsa calls today. Hope the day's a pleasant one.

*If you don't know me by now, you will never never ever know me... oooo...*

Fuck

2005-04-05T12:18:00.000+08:00

Say that i'm racist or whatever.

That indian man is really getting on my nerves.
Screwed up my damn clippings folder and i have to take the shit...
Does age or experience matter? Well in my opinion, if you don't know or are unsure, ASK.

What era are we living in man! MEN... sigh...oops, forgot to include a critical point: INDIAN MEN.

Arrgghh...

*Nobody is born perfect, regardless of colour*

What a beautiful morning...

2005-04-05T08:50:00.000+08:00

Though the sky looks pretty much as gloomy as yesterday, the morning has definitely brought a smile to my face. Everything's going well, the dressing, the hair, the specs even!

Gee, Mr.S was sweet enough to come all the way to pick me up for work just because i wanted to be in the office early today. Poor him, bet he muz be super sleepy now...He's gone back home to nap a lil' before work i guess. I realised that he's kinda crappy in the early morning...haha... muz be due to the lack of sleep.

Anyway, the morning has seen me finishing up with my media monitoring (which explains why i'm bloggin already), then i'll be at the recep and it's back to clear up the shit someone else piled up.

It's getting cold again, and today i'm a wee bit more clever to have brought a warmer sweater...*pat on my head*

Yup, back to work now! Brrrgghh....

*What a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day*

Totally terrible...

2005-04-05T00:37:00.000+08:00

What a day it's been. well, i might have been happy in the morning but some stupid guy in my office sure got me pissed. messed up my stuff and now i've got more work to do! shit.

Went to church in the evening then met Mr.S for dinner. Was feeling kinda bad cuz i was kinda moody and tired...sorry...

And i just realise that i'm numb to whatever's happening to Mr.C now. It doesn't matter anymore.

*Don't cry out loud, just keep it inside...*

Bliss...

2005-04-04T00:17:00.000+08:00

The night was spent having beef ball noodles with Mr.S. Then it was down to far east to shop shop shop... went for dessert before deciding that we wanted to go for a drink, so it was down to this beach bar somewhere arnd MS... there wasn't exactly the beach, but there was a canal, nice comfortable cushioned sun-bathing chairs and good music. What was most enjoyable was indeed the company.

Had the Singapore Sling... tell u, i could have almost immediately passed out... ha... but my 5 hour nap did do me good in resistance! We talked, alot... serious stuff, well i guess it's good that we're so open bout everything. Makes me feel jus like me.

I'm feeling all happy and well today, bought myself a new handbag from Mango, 3 new tops and yes, i'm gonne be broke in no time... haha... yup, tt's jus me! But i'm happy doing it, so, who cares?

Alright, it's time for bed... the new week awaits a fresh and cheerful me (i hope)...

*Dream a little dream of me...*

Lazy day...

2005-04-03T11:58:00.000+08:00

Last night saw me with Mr.S down at BFD having a drink. He drove, so no beer for him. I had one though... but guess i was tired and so was kinda konged out quite fast. Drove me home after. Sleep was good, but then again, i was late in getting up! what's new man! So i took kor's car and went to church and came back with it in one piece... hee..

As u can tell, i'm happily back home now to get my beauty rest... the much awaited one... Gee, i think i'm falling in love again... is this really true? or is it a state of self denial... and of feeling obligated to accept his care, love and patience... *hmmm*

Alright, thinking too much is doing no good to my brian cells... rest is what i need now.
Nighty! ok fine, it's afternoon already....*raises the brow*

*Maybe my love will come back someday... only heaven knows...*

Would time stand still...?

2005-04-02T23:25:00.000+08:00

It was a great evening out with Mr.S yesterday, other than the fact that something went wrong in the midst of everything nice. Got a bit pissed, but i'm glad he cared.

My saturday was spent at Sentosa...yes! Finally...
Wanted to call von but was afraid she was with her babe... turns out that she was actually free! darn. Spent time at the beach alone, but although i was alone, they never failed to treat me like a princess. I was actually under the tent (it rained) with chair and leg rest... sleeping... wat a pig i am! But i really miss the sun. Food was good, so was the company.

Dinner was spent with mummy and korkor... nice.

Came back to grab my stuff and blog a lil' before i go out again... getting a drink with Mr.S.

Hope Sun will be a good rest day...cuz ann's got nothing to do tmr! haahhaha....

*oh.... mysterious girl, i wanna get close to you...*

Good harvest...

2005-04-01T13:40:00.000+08:00

Yo! Just got back from my mini shopping spree aka lunch.
Let's see what i got out of a 1 hour break... ehem, here goes:

1)Hallowen perfume (J. Del Pozo)
2)Stick-ons
3)Yummy yougart

Not bad a harvest i should say? Hee...
My shopping spree shall continue later on! yup yup!

*smiling and smiling*

Thank God It's Friday!

2005-04-01T09:21:00.001+08:00

Hey hey hey!

It's the start of the weekend already! This is really so sought for especially after a busy week at work. Finally... club, tan, rest and relax...

Am gonna be going straight home after work to get my stuff so i can go party tonight. yupz yupz, hope the music and crowd will be good.

Still stuck in the office for today but all's gonna be ay ok! Have ta finish up two more reports then i'm done for this week!

On the buying list today:
- Perfume (brand which i can't seem to remember)
- new undies
- skirt
- top
- dress

Haha... like very rich lidat hor? Sigh... if only...

*Dip it low
Pick it up slow
Roll it all around
Poke it out let your back roll
Pop pop pop that thing
Ima show you how to make your man say "Ooo"*

Not too bad after all...

2005-04-01T00:31:00.000+08:00

The evening was more than great...
Had a nice time with Mr.C...
Oh well, but the feeling's different already...

*It's great to be me*

Ponder and i wonder...

2005-03-31T14:25:00.000+08:00

Feeling a bit weird now.

Lunch was good. Saw this Guess handbag that i like
and it's like 90 bucks! oh man... i jus got my allowance eh...control...

sigh, i'm feeling quite apprehensive bout meeting him tonight. Shall
i jus cancel? But then again, aiyah...dunno la...

well, i know my princess is not in the best of moods too... cheer up k babe!

I'm feeling sleepy now, just want my bed... it's raining out there, just like
it is in my heart...

*listen to the rhythm of the fallin rain... wondering now just what a fool i've been...*

Day-dreaming

2005-03-31T11:54:00.000+08:00

Yupz, here i am, sitting and stoning in boredom again...
miss mah princess and her crap...
hope she's feeling fine today.

Will be seeing Mr.C later. let's pray it doesn't turn disastrous...

My mind's confused, spinning round and round... what did i get myself into?

*Time allows the opportunity for thought and remenisence*

Early morning there's a halo hanging....

2005-03-31T09:43:00.000+08:00

"If I die before I wake
at least in heaven I can skate
cause right now on earth I cant do jack
without the man up on my back

now heaven would be a dj
spinning dub all night long
and heaven would just kickin back
with jesus packing my bong
and if you dont believe in Jesus and muhammad and budha too
and while the world is warring
just sit back and laugh at you singing..."

Haha! Morning morning! It's Thhhuuurrsssday! Yeah! Another day closer to the weekend!
Well, this song jus kept ringing in my head since i woke... hmmm, hint about smthing?

Well, went to watch BE COOL yesterday with boon... it was good, yeah, "chill my man, be cool" haha... stupid nigger wannabes... went to chill at Flappers afterthat, had booze and played pool, slendid combination!

Kinda having a bit of prob at home so i guess having his company was good. It just makes me feel happy.

Today started off on a good note, though nothing special happend but i just think it's gonna be a great day!

My dough is in, so...ehem.. shopping anyone? ahaha...

*I'm gonna twist out cause I got the skillz..got the skillz got the skillz*

Mid-week...

2005-03-30T10:00:00.000+08:00

Yeah! It's wednesday already! Oh man... look so forward to the weekend. gee, hopefully if there's nothing on on sat or sun den i can make my way to the beach!

Anyway, yesterday saw me going for my Peranakan meeting after work, meet Reggie, damn funny gay... he's nice la, prob one of the few i can laugh with. Then it was to meridian to play pool with boon and ed, my skills are getting better man!

went down to Spenelli after that only to realise they were closed *pff*

Then it was back home cuz i was real shag already! And poor ah boon kenna road block... and they kept him for like an hour man! outrages... singapore traffic police...

Just had my yummilicious chicken pie prepared by my wonderful mummy!
Think i'm feeling happy today...yeah... =)

*I just got this feeling... deep inside of me...*

Brrgghhh....

2005-03-29T16:04:00.000+08:00

It must be turning into the north pole here in the office... or like what my dearest vonnie calls the "ice box"...
it jus rained so the air con is freaking cold...brrrgghh....
Mr.S just brought his sweater down for me... so sweet right... *grins*

Finally...

2005-03-29T09:31:00.000+08:00

The 28th March has marked my increase in tolerance and endurance...

-Made my new specs
-Got a new card holder (which i think is damn nice)
-Vonnie finally did her thinggy...so proud of her man!
-I had mine done too... hee... it's painful but it sure is nice!
-Met Seb for dessert @ Hoi Lao San
-Think he muz have gotten a shock at what i did
-I realise that i have run out of dough...again...sigh...
-Found out that that stupid felle has announced to the world that we've broken up. What the hell is he up to man! He could even tell me that he was flirting arnd and if i shld see him holding another girl's hands, that he hoped i would not hate him. Possible? Unlikely. I really pity those girls that are going out with him now... let's just hope he'll be a gentleman and stop all this childish stuff. How could one just change into such a horrendous character...? Still love him... but it's not possible anymore.

*The caterpillar has evolved into a beautiful butterfly and now it's free...*

Long Weekend... not so long after all...

2005-03-28T10:18:00.000+08:00

Gee, it's the monday blues again... hmmm, why isn't it green, or red, or yellow? (fine, tt was lame)

Anyway, the weekend wasn't such a bad one after all considering that i got to take the RedBull beetle home for 2 nights in a row! What a responsibility is was k...

Friday:
Collected the car from Alaina after watching Ms Congeniality 2, then went to chiong with Von @ Black. Drove down to the club since it was quite late already... Met lotsa pple there, including mer and company. The night was fun, as usual, with my buddy.

Sat:
Had to wake early for work at RedBull... late, as usual. It's either a prob with the alarm, or it's just me. Hmm. Had a big screw up at the event...sigh, shall not talk about it, too long a story... But anyway, there was this really cute atheletic guy... oh man... he looked younger than we thought! He's 21! Hahaha... *eye candy*
Rushed down to church after that, super long mass.
Chilled @ Daryl's place after that... super funny guy. Sasi was there too... damn lame bunch.

Sunday:
Woke early for church then it was to work again! Picked Vonnie from Suntec and proceeded for work. Was kinda sian yesterday as the race was already over by the time we got there, so not many pple to sample. Went down to holland v to slack after that. Oh ya, there was this guy holding a Parang! Freaked the hell outta us! Got back to office then went for a session of Pool @ Meridian. Nana... sigh... it was only one game wat... haha...
Then it was dinner then back home. Real tired, needed sleep badly.

Colin called, we spoke, bout many things. I think i'm learning to take things in stride already, didn't feel as pissed... hee... it was nice hearing him call me "dumb-bell" again... but then again... it can only be left to memories...

Slept @ bout 130... zzzzzzz....

Monday:
Well, of course i'm in the office now, feeling bored as usual. Bored not because i've got nothing to do but there's so much to be done... *stares*
Just had breakfast prepared by my wonderful mummy! nice nice...

Mr.S is coming to meet me for lunch later... so sweet of him. *smilez*
And i'm going out with Vonnie tonight! Yeah!

*The world jus goes round and round*

Today's better...

2005-03-24T12:19:00.000+08:00

*laughter laughter laughter*

I think i'm going mad. It's like a 4-day week this week! yippi!
Somebody's finally booking out today...hee...*giggles*

Gonna be real busy over the weekend, church and stuff. Think i'm gonna sink into tired mode again soon. The Peranakan thinggy is gonna take up my time too... hmmm...wonder if i'd get to rest...

Am freaking cold now in the office though i'm in long sleeves... they think it's winterland or what?

Finally gonna see my princess again tmr...hope it's a night of fun again!
I'm just feeling happy all over again... and i wonder why...hmmm...

*Sometimes it's just better if you let it all go*

why?

2005-03-24T00:37:00.000+08:00

Why doesn't the pain go away...?
Why do the memories of him and me still float in my head?
Why can't i be emotionally stronger? He doesn't love me anymore anyway.
Why can't we turn back time?
Why did it have to end this way?
Why did we meet in the frist place?
Why did we fall in love...?
Why do we now go our seperate ways?
Why did a love so strong just whither away...?

*God knows...cuz God is watching...*

Frightful...

2005-03-23T09:24:00.000+08:00

Yesterday night marked the worst night in this new year.

My life's been upside down ever since we broke up and i guess it's just human nature to not be able to forget so quickly. I realised that that is not the case for some people.
Barely 3 weeks after we've broken up and he's seeing someone else. "I need time"... that has now become utter bullshit. To say you love someone and to be holding another girl in his arms! F**k off!

I don't know if i should be sad, disappointed or what should i be feeling? I was totally shattered... cried my heart out. I thought we could give the relationship another chance. After yesterday, i know now that it's time to move on.

Happy memories we've shared and i'll always cherish. I never wanna see the face of the one i once called "sweetheart"... it's just too painful, maybe it'll be easier to let go like this.

Reading all the e-mails and testimonials, we were once such a flawless couple. Did we give in to temptation?

He told me that he went out with those girls so that he could get over this matter. What the hell was he thinking??!!! I thought that loving someone would be to give time, to wait, to think about how much you need each other... and there he was, seeking pleasure in some other girl from China Black. Bitch.

I never did anything when i went out with Seb, i begged for a chance, he wrote me off.
I was so happy to see him yesterday, but it all turned out to be the greatest mistake i've ever made in my life. To love someone so deeply who has now turned into a bastard. Time brings about changes, why did it have to end this way?

I wish him the best... really, that he'll find someone more worthy of him.

*Live not to regret... i've regretted*

Tuesday...

2005-03-22T12:21:00.000+08:00

Here i am, bogged down with piles of work again.
Just finished one of the many reports... thank goodness it's only a 4-day week!

Met Vonnie for dinner yesterday, salad was good. Miss going out with friends so much man!

Gonna have meeting after work, oh man, why can't i just rest... will be meeting Mr.C for awhile later... hope all will be fine.

Am going shopping for shoes! The shoe i'm wearing today hurts man... think my feet expanded or something... weird.

*Is it just me or is it just me*

2005-03-20T20:55:00.000+08:00

The day started with the early morning routine of getting up early again... haven't been getting much slp lately. I think i really need rest. Went for ice cream with godma yesterday nite, got some drinks cuz wanted to do up our own mixers at home... i dozed off... geez...

Spent almost the whole day in church, saw Diana with Gerald... they looked so happy... kinda envious... or is it jealousy... (God knows...) Had some prob at home... sigh...

CY picked me up to go collect the photos, "phew wheet!" so nice!
Went to Pasta Fresca for dinner...so sinful... swear i should stop pigging out like this... Had ice cream after that... it was yummilicious!

Back to korkor's place to meet mummy...

*Sometimes the world just tires you out...agree?*

Why do i feel this way...

2005-03-19T21:25:00.000+08:00

Long day it has been... worked at Redbull since morning. Took a cab to work cuz couldn't get up... and like why? Friday night saw me clubbing at Newsroom bar with mah colleagues, my supervisor, and summer! Bunch of uncles... drink drink drink... left me and summer on the dance floor only! So... we decided to proceed down to CB... And so the fun continued till bout 4plus... someone booked out, suppose to come fetch me but ended up scolding me cuz he was over exhausted... rubbish. Got to know Jeremy, nice guy. Mer's fren's fren sent us home thereafter. Time to sleep: 530am.

Got up this morning feeling like a zombie, but fortunately i was ok for work. Sampled at Sentosa today... Golfers are tickos!

Drove back to give Alaina the car, Mr. S picked me up and we went down to East Coast for pasta. Dinner was good. He had to rush back to camp and so ya, it's gonna be awhile till i see him again.

Everyone's packed with something tonight, so here i am with my blog and i... typing the night away. Everytime i think of Colin, my heart feels the pierce. I forgave, why couldn't he.

I think of him, but in a different light... things have changed... i must move on...

*Sometimes i just feel like running away...from the reality that we live in*

Good to be home.

2005-03-17T22:33:00.000+08:00

Boo!

Ever wonder how it feels like to be home early? well, that's how i'm feeling now... happy and all..

Met Vonnie after work, went down to far east to do a lil' shopping... (a lil' only la) and i spent a bomb while waitin for her! oh man... i need to learn how to save... i'm becoming poor again...

Had cheese sausage for dinner, it was salty, but it was good. Walked around somemore... Vonnie got her watch that was "class"... hee...

Tot i'd save some money, so i walked home from Khatib. It wasn't too bad... good time-out to recollect the day's happenings...

Now i'm comfortably at home and i'm gonna hang up my monkey! yeah yeah! it's sooooo cute!

Lalalalala... I miss him...

*It's the thought that counts... sometimes*

Long wait...

2005-03-17T11:36:00.000+08:00

Well well well...

work's been treating me good, i guess...

just got to know Kay Lee a bit better... nice chap i reckon.

princess vonnie's not feeling well, so i guess there ain't no clubbing for me this week.

gotta work on sat... oh man, why do i have the feeling i'm gonna be missing slp again...

i miss my sunshine, if ya know what i mean.

Monday blues...

2005-03-14T11:33:00.000+08:00

Gee, it's Monday and it's back to work again...so dreadful, but i guess it's part and parcel of life.

Alright, let's start from Friday.
Worked in the day and then went to church for some vigil thinggy. Took a cab down to meet vonnie at CB. There was Ter, CY, Joel and KokPeng. Adrian was there to celebrate his birthday too. Drank like nobody's business... got a bit drunk thereafter. Went for supper at Macpherson cuz it was on the way to von's place. Stayed over, did i mention that her bed was real comfy? hee... Time to bed: 530am.

Saturday.
Time outta bed: 730am.
Ok, this muz be mad, we only had like 2hrs of sleep and we're up and preparing for work at Redbull! Had this event at Kallang, it was so cool... treasure hunting on wheels! And like why didn't we know bout it? otherwise we could have joined! Met Leee Meng there.. wat a conincidence. Felt kinda tired after so we decided to go down to TCC to chill out for lunch. Louis came by to fetch vonnie and so of course gave me a lift back. Had to get out of the house again after preparing for the Redbull Formula 1 party at Thumpers! ok, i was about to faint... the people there were like... crazy and old... hmmm...met Darren and Wildon, cute guys from NTU and SMU, single and available... =)

Sunday.
Time out: 830am.
Church in the morning then practice for Easter in the afternoon. Was so tired man! Went to watch Son of the Mask... what a stupid show. Got down to East Coast to chill before meeting kor and mummy for dinner.

Time home: 1030.
As i lay on my bed (yes, i was on my bed before 11pm!), went thru smses, thought about the day's happenings... my eyes shut and i was in lala land... what a bliss...

And of course, i'm in my office now, feeling bored as usual... guess i will survive.
my nose's stuck and think i'm falling sick... what a shitty feeling...

*Do you even realise the things that happen in your life
happen for a reason?*

TGIF...

2005-03-11T17:04:00.001+08:00

Wow, finally the weekend is here! but then again... i'm still busy.

Working RedBull tmr at 9am and i'm clubbing tonight... can't believe myself. Am aching from yesterday's martial arts. *faints*

Had this super, super expensive chicken pie from DOME this morning... can't believe it eh... it was like $4.20!

Work's fine, i'm still alive in the pile of work, just can't wait for 15 of April to come!

Am gonna leave the office soon, gonna meet korkor at Compasspoint... i'm going to church for your info. =)

Hope i get mummy's speech done soon... i'm like left with... NO TIME!

"Love is never complete when u're not living it"

Third of the day...

2005-03-10T22:52:00.000+08:00

Work was shitty today...

Went for kickboxing with princess von and we survived it!

Think i'm shag and very tired.

I need sleep, my bed's calling.

"It's mind over matter"

Gloomy afternoon...

2005-03-10T13:26:00.000+08:00

yes, here i am on a glommy, sleepy Thursday afternoon...

Jus had lunch, it was fulfilling.

Just feeling so weird all of a sudden...

why?

Almost perfect.

2005-03-10T09:49:00.000+08:00

Hey hey!

It was a wonderful evening last night. Karen's a year older now and so will i be in a few months time... sigh... (hitting the "2" already!)

Vonnie went off early, had to be up for work and have enough energy for our kick-boxing lesson! yes, that's right, we're taking it on!

It felt so good to be dancing again, without any restrictions. Met Mr. Kong there too.

The scholl function was a total flop, boring as usual... what could we expect? me and princess darling fell asleep almost immediately.

Well, as usual, some people just never fail to piss me off. sigh... i forgive...

Today's a great day cuz it's a good hair day and hopefully i get all my work done then i don't have to worry bout tmr!

yup yup, this week's gonna be exciting...

oh ya, he msged me again... hmmm, did i mention that he's changed? a whole lot. Can't believe what he did to me in the canteen. Like totally...

"What goes around comes around"

Starting all over...

2005-03-09T01:17:00.000+08:00

It's a new blog, new entrie, and a whole package of a brand new me.

Got my hair cut on Monday, gee, i love it! 3 yrs ago saw me don this hairstyle, i'm happy, all over again.

Going down to CB with von, alaina and karen tonight. Hope it'll be fun!

He dropped me msges, but it's those that i dread to read... makes me cry in the mornings... i miss him... really do...

Well, life's just full of uncertainties...

"Take this ring as a sign of my love and fidelity"... That was in the past... I realise now that we live in the present.

I love my life and that's how i'm gonna live it!

A World I Call Mine...

My canvas of life...

Life - A joke.

Ain't no life no more...

Thank you...

A new start...

Yours truly...

If...

-ain't no title for this-

Endless fun...

A light has shone...

Rain rain go away...

Regrets...

Clouds... in excess.

Gloom and more gloom...

sMaCk...

Complicated.

Ouch!

What my life is made of... now.

Life's ever-changing...

Just another saturday...

Ridiculous!

Precious moments...

Something to look forward to ...

The Revival

Self realisation.

It's been a while...

The countdown ends today...

Sick...again...

A day at @ the beach with Vonnie and lil'Bell...

Boring...

nice nice?

Times i won't forget...

OMG! It's Friday! hee...

Good news.. for me at least...

Halfway thru the week...

Rain rain, go away...

Finally Monday's good...and i wonder why...

down and out...

The countdown begins...

Inequality...

Monday's good afterall!

Confusion...

Late entry!

I don't know what else to say...

Today's a lil better...

Why is Monday always blue...?

I must thank God it's FRIDAY!

A better day ahead...

one more for the day...

Dont know why...

Finally blogging again....

The less busy day...

Been so long...

End. Of. Internship.

Sneezy Morning!

Jumbled...

Today's better...

Monday's blue, grey, and black...

What a weekend...

It's Friday again!

............

I said Hey! What's goin on...

*droopy eyes*

Sleepy Wednesday...

Fuck

What a beautiful morning...

Totally terrible...

Bliss...

Lazy day...

Would time stand still...?

Good harvest...

Thank God It's Friday!

Not too bad after all...

Ponder and i wonder...

Day-dreaming

Early morning there's a halo hanging....

Mid-week...

Brrgghhh....

Finally...

droopy eyes